Billo!

Tiger Woods is undergoing treatment for sex addiction.

Which means nothing he did was his fault. It’s an illness. A syndrome. He couldn’t have kept his pants zipped if he’d tried.

I guess the thirteenth step will be suing Gatorade and all the others companies that dropped him as spokesman. Americans With Disabilities Act, y’know.

If I seem mildly skeptical, it might have something to do with his choice of partners: If you’re a sports hero, one of the most recognized celebrities in the world, and beautiful women throw themselves at you, there are two possible responses, neither of which involve a psychological impairment: You can say “Hell yeah!” or “No thanks.”

(Some might say the latter is the abnormal response, but I digress)

If he’s running onto the back room for sex with the 68-year-old, chain-smoking waitress at Denny’s who says “You want some dessert with that? Wink wink… wheeze…” then okay, we’re talking an addiction that needs professional help. But the supermodel types he’s been publicly linked to? That’s “hell yeah” territory. Bill Clinton should have done so well.

“On a Fox News panel discussing Tiger Woods, Brit Hume said, perfectly accurately: ‘The extent to which he can recover, it seems to me, depends on his faith. He is said to be a Buddhist. I don’t think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. So, my message to Tiger would be, Tiger, turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world.’ Hume’s words, being 100 percent factually correct, sent liberals into a tizzy of sputtering rage, once again illustrating liberals’ copious ignorance of Christianity.” -Ann Coulter

So… Fuzzy Zoeller, whose professional life is now virtually over, makes his apologies. And Tiger says he forgives him, and understands that he didn’t intend anything by his comment. And that seemed to be it, and maybe Fuzzy can now salvage a little something.

Then Tiger has to add “but I do believe there was some racial intent to it”.

Which of course makes the “forgiveness” meaningless, and leaves Fuzzy with no chance of redemption. It was a pointless, classless and cruel comment to end the episode on, serving no purpose other than to leave Tiger as its victim.

Which is how I’ll think of him from now on.