Good Parenting is More Than Luck

I’ve had so many people admire my relationship with my son Orion and wish they shared the honesty, closeness, and trust with their own child or parents. Others praise the close relationship I have with my daughter-in-law Nichola. They wish they could be so lucky and fortunate. Grandparents long for the time and quality relationship Doug and I share with our grandson Sebastian.

Parents who come to me for coaching feel uncertain or powerless when it comes to creating a joyous relationship with their child. Mothers come to me feeling overwhelmed with what feels like an impossible situation with their child.

Instead of trust and closeness, families often experience deep resentment and hard feelings between parents and their children, especially as their child matures into adolescence and adulthood and they become more aware of their true feelings toward their parents and the way they were raised as children.

The relationships with in-laws, especially mothers-in-law, are notorious for their difficulty. In fact, relationships with mothers-in-law often separate children from their own parents.

It can look like luck and good fortune when you don’t know what’s gone into making a joyous family happen. Over the last 33 years, I’ve focused on essential guidelines to create the relationship I now share with Orion and his family.

I promise you. What we have did not occur by chance. It has taken conscious communication and a deep willingness and desire on everyone’s part to share the trust, honesty, love and joy we now have as a family.

You can do something beginning today. These close, delightful relationships begin with the emotional foundation you create when your child is born (I would even say before your child is born) and continue throughout your lifetime.

Here are four quick tips to empower you to share the joy and love you most desire with your child. These tips will help keep you from wasting precious time as the years go speeding by.

If you want to begin to take action now to create a joyous relationship with your child that will last a lifetime, here are some things I’ve done to create what I share with our kids.

1. Make your emotional connection with your child one of your highest priorities. Nothing has a greater, more positive impact in your relationship and in your child’s success and joy in life.

When you share a positive emotional connection, you have a tremendous positive impact in your child’s life. He wants to be with you, even when he is a teen and into adulthood. He trusts you and looks to you for guidance in times of uncertainty and hardship. You all pull together and work together as an honest, deeply trusting family.

2. Understand what’s happening with your child emotionally. Without this, you can mistakenly believe you’re on track and miss your child entirely. Too often parents believe everything is okay, only to painfully discover in adolescence and adulthood, the lack of true understanding they had with their child.

This is one of the biggest challenges for parents. As a culture, we don’t know a lot about our emotions and how to create authentic, trusting relationships with our children or our spouse. With this information, you have a deeply positive effect on your child and life she creates for herself.

3. Admire your child for the unique and amazing person she is. Admiration and appreciation help her to flourish and to feel loved. She sees her beauty mirrored back to her in your eyes.

4. Honesty is always the best policy. Without this, your child knows on a deep level that he cannot trust you. Mutual trust and respect is the firmest foundation you can create with your child.

You Are in the Driver’s Seat Whether You Know It or Not

I’ve created a powerful, trusting loving relationship with my now 33-year-old son Orion, daughter-in-law Nichola and grandson Sebastian using these and other essential principles. There is nothing more important to me than my relationship with them. They bless Doug’s and my life daily. Such a delightful joy to cherish what we have all created together!

You can have this with your child also. The choice is yours. Life will always bring changes filled with new opportunities and challenges. The only way to get through these with a renewed and stronger connection with your child of any age is to create a relationship of honest, open trust, love, and regard for one another. One that nurtures your child’s and your own Emotional Wholeness.

If you want more harmony with your child both now and in the future, develop a joyous emotional foundation with your child starting today. It is never too late to begin, no matter how old your child. Your heart will be profoundly touched by the closeness you create.

Copyright 2009 Connie Allen

Connie Allen, M.A. of Joy with Children. Connie helps parents and educators who are unsure how to best empower their child. . For information on how you can nurture the joyous inner spirit of children, subscribe to her free e-newsletter http://www.joywithchildren.com Visit her blog at http://connieallen.typepad.com/joyousjourney

Natural Parenting Tips

Parenting is a skill that everyone has if they just follow their instincts. Parenting tips have also been passed down through the generations and everyone has their own opinion. Did you know that children were raised by communities generations ago? Raising a child on your own or with just mum and dad is not normal, and that is why it is stressful to do so. While this will not likely change in your situation change anytime soon here are some tips for raising your child in the easiest and most natural way possible.

Parenting a baby

If you have a new arrival things are most likely very new to you if you did not help raise other children. A screaming baby who can’t communicate with words yet is frustrating and scary. There are a few things to remember that will make this easier

You will have to change your routine to suit them, sleep when they do if needed
Accept help in any form, you don’t have to, or are expected to be a super parent
When your baby cries they want something (food, sleep, nappy/diaper change)
They are just a baby and are not trying to manipulate you when they cry
They are new to the world and love comfort or you being close to them

Parenting a toddler

Toddlers are now toddling around home getting into all kinds of trouble, but they are just learning. Some helpful hints for parenting toddlers:

While they may do something like break a glass or knock over something they didn’t mean to they are still learning to coordinate their hands and feet
They aren’t being naughty, they just don’t know what they are allowed to do yet
Show them what they are allowed to do and they will keep doing that
Don’t leave something around for them to get into trouble, take the trouble making opportunity away

Parenting a child

A child is now learning/learned words and is learning behaviors from yourself and people they are surrounded by. This continues even as they enter their teenage years.

Firstly remember they learn behavior by seeing, make sure you and their other role models are doing all the right things
Make friends with parents and children that you wish yours to exhibit behaviors of
Yes, the child has most likely learned to manipulate now by watching you
Set guidelines to follow but still give them the choices to make

Parenting a teenager

Teenage years are not the last stage of parenting, but it is the last stage of parenting where they are still dependent upon you. These years are generally seen as the more difficult years as your teenager seeks their own independence and identity.

Set clear boundaries but make sure they are just the necessary ones, for example home at a certain time
Explain your decisions to them. Explain about actions and consequences and let them decide what action to take.
Listen to their wants (their actual wants). Most likely a teenager doesn’t want to check a tattoo they want to be noticed, shown as independent and gain popularity. Show them other ways to achieve this.
If you say no to them, they will more then likely do it anyway. Always try to suggest a better alternative where everyone still gets what they actually want.
They can think for themselves

These are just a few of the main points that will hopefully make life easier for everyone. The main point here is to go with the easiest path possible and learn to let go of your own ideas of what every move they should be making is and let them grow into their own person with you to guide them along the way. As that is what parenting is about.

Go to Natural Parenting Tips for heaps of more parenting tips and advice.

Parenting Help and Advice

Parenting means the special things that is completely for the child or children, especially the care, love, and guidance. Parenting is the way of raising and educating a child from delivery to maturity level. It is normally done by the teenager’s family or the teens parents. Parenting is the way for the change of life.

Parenting is the neccessary thing regarding to the child maturity. So in this prospective teens parenting is very necessary things regarding to kids maturity. So guiding purposes to helping the social relationship and sees the new ideas, goals, and independence emerge parenting is very important.

There is some question regarding to the parenting teenagers:

• Mending a damaged relationship
• What teenagers want from you
• Praising your teenager
• Changing the behavior
• Avoiding argument flashpoints
• Arguing with teenagers
• Parenting Skills for the teenagers
• Helping teens be responsible
• Are you over strict?
• Helping teens solve their own problems
• Teens leaving home

So if you want to trying to work, go to school, raise a baby and still having some growing up to do is nowhere near easy. Dealing with a checkbook, a husband, a newborn, a job and finishing school at sixteen was hard.

So at the parenting there are some big problems issue that are related to the school and working to support a baby. Now days the college degree is needed for doing a job. So at the education issue the schooling education is much more important. If a teen mom still has to go to school and work, she has very little time to be a mother. The worst part of it all is that usually, that’s what a teen mom really wants to be. Most teen moms don’t want to be part of the statistics.

So if you want to know the additional information regarding to the parenting issue the go to the following:

http://www.restoreteens.com/0/Parenting, here we are leading troubled teen’s portal; we are currently working with the issue of troubled teens. There are some issues that are needed to care, such as: negative peer pressure, teen drug use, bad grades in school, etc.

So lifting a child while the parents are still in their teens is even tough. Dealing with the day to day chores that involves a baby and trying to work and get an education is very stressful on any teen. On other hand the key to providing protection to teen is recognizing and meeting their requirement.

About Author: Nivea David For listings please visit www.restoreteens.com/0/Parenting

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Proverbs 19 in Parenting

In today’s culture we’re not that adept at discussing the character of the ‘fool’ although we see him or her everywhere, as the scribes of Proverbs did in their days. In Proverbs 19 we get another resonant glimpse of the type of behaviour the foolish engage in, the behaviour we’re to avoid like the plague.

I found the following highlights and themes when recently musing over Proverbs 19:

Remain Even-tempered… Patience!

We seem to get angry at life a lot when mostly the issues we’re angry about are self-inflicted (v. 3), even to the wrong motives for engagement e.g. getting frustrated at the prospect of going to work.
We see in verse 19 that if we bail out the hot-tempered person for the actions that their anger produced they’ll never learn. If we never deal with the consequences of our actions we’ll never be motivated to behave differently.

But, “those with good sense are slow to anger, and it is to their [own] glory to overlook an offense” -Proverbs 19:11 (NRSV). Imagine patience being the elixir for life, peace, relationships! A whole virtuous life can be built around patience. See any parallels here with the character of God…? i.e. ‘Slow to anger.’

Show Compassion to the Poor

Proverbs deals in salient realities; so rich is the imagery it strikes us poignantly. We know that wealth not only brings friends (v. 4) but it brings all sorts of favour in this life. The poor, on the other hand, seem almost friendless.

The poor, of all people, know a faithful friend when they see them (v. 7) but the proverb leads us to think they have no faithful friends–this is the purpose of the Church is it not?–to be a faithful friend to the poor.

The poor are closer to home than we realize; not only is poverty but a moment away, but we see Jesus in the pauper (Matthew 25:40, 45). When we’re kind and give freely to the poor, it is really the LORD we’re lending to (v. 17). We should hence look for opportunities to do same. When we do this friends abound (v. 6).

What Laziness Looks Like and Its Results

The sign of the lazy person is someone who can’t help themselves (v. 24). Neither can they see the folly of their laziness nor can they motivate themselves to actually do the things required to rectify the situation. The result is they’ll suffer hunger (v. 15) in both direct and indirect ways, leading to an unchallenged life. Teaching our children not to be lazy is therefore an imperative.

Proverbs profiles diligence as the opposite of laziness, the virtue of the morally industrious. The diligent become rich (10:4, 21:5), end up ruling (12:24), look after all their acquisitions (12:27), and become fully satisfied for their labours (13:4). The opposite of these outcomes is for the sluggard (the lazy person).

More Allusions for Parents in Parenting

Verse 27 (a parent’s prayer for the child to avoid folly by heeding instruction) is odd here in a collection of standalone proverbs. It fits better in the Proverbs 1-9 genre. But, looking closer it hinges the two proverbs either side of it in the negative sense. If the child doesn’t heed “the words of knowledge” they’ll risk becoming a proverbial ‘scoffer’ and the outcomes in verses 25, 26, 28 and 29 become a distinct possibility.

Moreover, if the parent cannot issue the appropriate instruction, discipline and punishment for their children they might ironically be party to their destruction (v. 18).

Copyright © 2009, S. J. Wickham. All Rights Reserved.

SteveWickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner (BSc, MSIA, RSP) and a qualified, unordained Christian minister (GradDipBib&Min).

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Theories of Attachment Parenting

Attachment parenting is a phrase that was originally coined by Dr. Sears. His description of this style of parenting was based on the principles of attachment theory. According to this theory there is a strong emotional bond between child and parent in early childhood. This secure attachment is a precursor to empathetic relationships in adulthood. Dr. Sears believed that a lack of this secure attachment in early childhood would result in a reactive attachment disorder as the child matured.

Theories and practice of attachment parenting has been studied extensively for the past 60 years by psychologists, child development professionals and researchers studying the activity of the brain. All of these studies have pointed to one specific factor which is that the infant brain is ‘hard-wired’ with strong needs to be nurtured by a physically present and emotional close primary caregiver.

All of the baby’s activities of crying, clinging and sucking are early techniques the baby uses to keep their mother or caregiver close by. The emotional needs and neurological development of a newborn is improved when the child’s basic needs are met. Then as the child grows older and is more secure in their relationship with their caregiver they are able to explore their environment and develop strong bonds with other people in their life.

Although there are several goals or rules that have sprung up since the initial description and encouragement of this type of parenting style, Dr. Sears didn’t require parents to follow strict rules. Instead, Dr. Sears encouraged parents who were working with him to focus on being creative in their responses to their child’s needs.

There are a number of goals or basic principles of attachment parenting that have grown around the initial development. The first of these principles are that the mother will prepare for the developing pregnancy and ultimate birth of the child. When mom has researched what will really happen she’ll be better able to set realistic goals for herself and her partner.

The second principle is to feed the child with love and respect. Functionally this means making the best possible food choices for the infant. Although breastfeeding is the optimal way to feed an infant to meet both neurological and nutritional needs bottle feeding can also be adapted to help initiate a secure attachment. Taking the cues for feeding infants and children will help them to learn to eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full.

When infants are born their neurological system isn’t fully developed. Because their brains and peripheral nerves don’t function fully they need help to self-soothe or calm down from patient and empathetic parents. Responding sensitively to an infant or child who is hurt, hungry or upset will help them to learn how to calm themselves as they develop and grow.

Nighttime parenting may be tough and tiresome but it also some of the best moments to bond strongly with an infant. Infants have needs at night just as they do during the daytime. They get lonely, cold, hungry or get too hot. Using some of the more popular sleep training techniques can have a detrimental effect on the later development of a child. While these techniques may not be the answer, young children are also able to manipulate their environment well so parents must be sensitive and empathetic addressing the child’s needs while being firm if these nightly outbursts become more of a habit than a need.

Infants have a need for consistent care giving, primarily from a parent. If another care giver must be used, then try to introduce them to the baby slowly so a relationship may develop between the child and the care giver. Ensure positive discipline between all care givers. One strong principle of attachment parenting is that the parent provides positive discipline. This doesn’t mean that there isn’t any discipline but rather that the discipline that is applied is done so in an empathetic and loving manner that respects the strengths and weaknesses of the child. While infants should never be disciplined, children require communication and discipline that will help them change behavior while keeping everyone’s dignity in place.

The last principle of attachment parenting is for the parents to keep a balanced personal and family life. It is much easier to emotionally responsive to an infant or child when the adult feels balanced and emotionally fed. Ways to accomplish this goal is to create a support network of friends. Set realistic goals for yourself and the family and don’t be afraid to say ‘no’ when the commitment will take away from your ability to care for your family.

These values are interpreted by parents in a variety of different ways. Some parents include natural childbirth, home births, co-sleeping, natural health, homeschooling, or organic foods as falling within the parameters of these principles. But they weren’t designed to justify behaviors. Rather they were guidelines to help parents understand how becoming emotionally attached to their child could help to improve the child’s ability to relate to people as they grew.

In fact, the theory is based on the needs of people to be in relationship with other people. And because children are people, albeit little people, they also benefit from being in secure and stable relationships with their parents.

Discover more great articles on parenting advice on Dr. Swanson’s website. And while you are there, get signed up for his FREE Newsletter on child behavior!

How is Good Parenting Achieved?

parenting
by gretag

Parenting is indeed a very noble task. Each of us can be a parent; but not all of us can be good parents. There is no designed educational course to teach us how to be a good parent; instead it can be learned through experiences in life, honed through natural affection.

From the time, a mother gave birth to her child until the time that this child has been married and has his/ her own life, parents never stopped being there for their children to give them guidance and all kinds of support. This is how dignified, parenting is.

I have been blessed to have wonderful parents who are always there for me through thick and thin. They are two people who never fail to understand and love me whether I have done the right or wrong thing. They always guide me to be if not the best daughter they can have; but more importantly, the kind of daughter they can find in me.

My parents never forced or pressured me to be the best woman in my generation; they keep on having faith in whatever endeavors I choose to pursue.

I want to share my experience, being a daughter to my parents who are a family of teachers. I have always wanted to be a writer since I was a kid; this led me to do a lot of writing stints even in my college years where I was taking up Child Education. My time then was divided into freelance writing jobs and college course education. But I am pretty guilty that I spent much time doing freelance writing jobs; and my parents allow me to do this, because they completely know that this is where I get my fulfillment.

Fortunately, I have completed my college education with flying colors because of the appropriate guidance of my parents; as always, they never failed to provide me with the needed trust and understanding.

Not all people get the chance to have good parents in their lives. That is why I am just too thankful to have brilliant parents who, for me, possess all the qualities of being a wonderful parent.

Based from my experience as a daughter, I can say that good parenting is achieved when they are:
• Sensitive to the needs of their children; and understand how their children feel toward every matter.
• Trustful of their children; but do not tolerate any wrong deeds.
• Finally, good parenting is giving unconditional love; no other people can give.

Zhengying is the author specialize in skin care, acne, fitness and pregnancy, you can check out her website over at Ameur Beauty which provide free beauty information or you may also see her other site at Pregnancy With Beauty which is a good pregnancy guide.

Christian Parenting Advice

Like most Christian parents, you probably ask God for help to properly raise your children, here are four ways to make parenting for Christians just a little simpler.

1. Be an example. Most people learn things more effectively when they see an example of how they should act, and children are no exception. It is unrealistic to expect your children to be godly children if you are not a godly parent. Like any relationship, parenting is a two way street, and you get out of it what you put into it. Jesus is our example of how to love others, and it is up to parents to set the best example that they can. If you feel inadequate as a parent, then ask God for wisdom. Not only does He generously give wisdom, but He does so without ridiculing us for asking.

2. Get to know your kids. Your first impulse is probably to exclaim, “I already know my kids!” However many times effective parenting for Christians includes learning how to adapt and adjust even in areas where we don’t think we need help. Just like our fingerprints, every person is different, so it is important that you treat your children like individuals. It doesn’t mean you have to go to drastic lengths just to connect with your children, and it doesn’t mean you have to spoil them, but it just means that you should make a conscious effort to give them the individual attention they need. God never ignores us, so we should not ignore out children. Another aspect of Christian parenting tips advice is to make sure that you don’t play favorites with your children. “For there is no partiality with God.” (Romans 2:11)

3. Control your anger. We always have a tendency to be harder on our families than we are on other people. For this reason is it tempting to lose your cool and get angry with members of your family, especially your children. In Ephesians 4:26, we are reminded of this truth, and “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” This is often difficult because the angrier we are, the more likely we are to lose our temper and say things we will end up regretting in the long run. When you feel yourself getting angry and stressed when you are dealing with your children, the best thing you can do is take a deep breath and say a quick prayer. God will meet you right where you are and help you in your situation.

4. Explain yourself. When God disciplines us, He doesn’t just punish us and expect us to guess our wrong doing. Instead, He tells us how we were wrong, and gives us opportunities to correct our behavior. As a Christian parent, you actually owe it to your children to explain yourself when they do something that disappoints you. This will help them to learn from their mistakes and repeat positive behavior.

// Get more great advice on Parenting for Christians and download our newsletter at
www.Parenting4Christians.com | www.Parenting4Christians.com/blog.

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Positive Parenting

You may not realize it but one of the best things that you can contribute to your childrens personality is by creating your own positive parenting method. This would be very useful and helpful for you especially if you have kids ageing from 4-12 year of age. Though no matter what age your children are such a plan can still be useful and effective for you.

Positive parenting would definitely be a great help for you and your family in organizing and in living harmoniously, you may not realize it but children crave for organizing or structure. You may very well observe that in unstructured kind of environment they totally would be chaotic, however once you put some standards and rules for them to follow; they eventually learn how to adapt with it instantly.

Organizing and structuring makes your entire entire family member establish stronger and better relationship towards one another, quarrelling and petty squabbling can be prevented or reduced as well.

Here are some positive parenting structures that might be applicable for your family:

Individualized parenting plan can help you with your parenting skills area; children usually pass through all sorts of challenges and problems in life. Such problems could cause you also to worry about their behavior in reaction to the kind of challenge or problem that they encounter. So, before you butt in and inject your kind of parenting tools might as well correct some unwanted attitudes while teaching your child learn the lesson in a bit light and comfortable way.

Having a positive parenting strategy on hand, itll make your child feel more secure. On the other hand youll have also a better idea on how to deal with your kids when faced by behavioral problems.

Misunderstanding would be reduced; it may not be totally eradicated within your family as we all have our own individual differences. However, with positive parenting put into play the effect would be lesser unfinished chores, lesser conflicts and quarrelling, lesser frustration for the entire family as well. Positive parenting will put your entire family into proper perspective, giving place for understanding and have better and clear expectations and standards towards each other, building a happy and healthy relationship in your family.

With these suggested strategies, you may find it useful for you. However, the way you are going to train and raise your kids would entirely lie in your hand. After all it is you who knows what kind of individual each one of them, some parenting strategies may apply to some of your kids, while some may not. It is therefore essential that youll learn to adjust and modify your parenting plan from time to time but maintaining that certain bond among your children and your family as a whole.

To read more interesting articles on pregnancy, baby care and parenting, visit http://myparentingguide.com. Do not forget to check out the articles on parenting skills & parenting styles.

An Effective Parenting

parenting
by ario_

Everything in life goes through a step by step process from conception until death. In each step, there are different roles to be fulfilled. One of these roles when you reach adulthood is parenting in which it entails proper guidance, wisdom and principles to mold the children and bring good influence to their lives. The child learns first at home therefore, good parenting must be practiced so that the child will also develop a better self in the future equipped with good attitude, behavior, morale and self-concept. This is the sole responsibility of parents when it comes to bringing up children in the way they should be.

Parenting is a complex responsibility. It does not end just by giving birth. The process goes on as the child grows. The child needs to be nurtured from birth until time will come that the child can already go on his own. The primary role of a parent is to provide the child the nourishment that he needs physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Being a good parent promotes effective mother-father-child relationship. For this reason, the child will grow as an effective individual in the society with good outlook in life as he was taught to be developing good habits and attitude or behavior. Most of the parents wanted their children to have a bright future and live a good life on their own when the right time comes. This is the main concern of parents once the child is born. There must be some strategies or methods to be followed to ensure an effective parenting and achieve those goals for the child.

First and foremost, a parent must be a good example to the child. Be a role model to your children. If you have a positive outlook in life, most probably your child will also do the same. Set constant rules. Give appropriate reasons for everything so that the child will understand it well. If you will restrict him to do something, explain to him why so that he will be able to know. Next, give time to your child to express about himself. Give him chance to show what he can do and what he thinks. This will boost his confidence and ego. Just make sure that he will not hurt anybody including himself. If the child is your second, third or fourth baby, never ever compare them with each other. Each child has different innate characteristics and way of thinking. The child might feel inferiority if he is being treated less compared to his other siblings and this might affect his entire life. Lastly, do not throw threats to your child. The primary fear of a child is abandonment by the parents. An effective parenting does not develop fear in their children’s heart and mind. A child has simple thinking. A child believes everything parents would say so do not threaten him because he might take your threat seriously even if you didn’t mean it to happen. Parenting is a crucial role. Therefore, have an effective method that will help you nurture your child to become a good citizen in the future.

Brenna A. Welker enjoys writing for Crazy Baby Clothing Company which sells camouflage baby clothes and skull baby clothes as well as a host of additional products.

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Single Parenting

Children require a lot of unconditional love and attention, whether you are raising them with your spouse or alone. Nurturing a child is an awesome responsibility but the most honorable and exciting job parents can do.  Remembering to love your child first, then disciplining him or her is important.  You can help your child grow to a responsible adult by being a good role model. It’s important to be a parent to your child, not his or her friends.  Children have friends, and don’t need any more.

Love your children, then love them some more.  You cannot love your children too much. Part of showing love is tending to their basic needs like food, warmth, housing, and safety. Discipline from love. Setting and maintaining strong boundaries will help your child grow safely and securely.  Children will push the limits; you must stand firm and be consistent.  Once you back down once, your rules may all be for naught.  

Children love rules and structure because there is freedom in them – children know what is expected and what to expect.  This makes children more secure in who they are and how they fit into the family unit.  Children are not capable of making choices about what to eat, where to sleep, a proper bedtime, and whether to go to school or not.  All these decisions belong to the parent who should be responsible.  

Once a child begins following rules consistently, you may consider changing some rules to allow for freedom and privileges. You want to teach children how to respect boundaries and self-monitor freedom.  It’s okay to want to always know where your child is, especially if you are a single parent and solely responsible for the child. Being both mom and dad will be difficult at times, but with clear boundaries, rules, and plenty of love, you and your child will thrive.

Learn more about reasons babies cry at our baby care website